My Tongue Will Joyfully Sing of Your Righteousness

Since somewhere around the beginning of October, I feel like God has been working on me non-stop. I mean, I know He's always working on me, but I don't always see it and it doesn't always require vast quantities of effort on my part. I've been trying to come up with an analogy for God's and my relationship lately. The only thing I can come up with (and it's very imperfect) is that I feel a little bit like God is my personal trainer right now.

I feel like some days are recovery days, where I get to rest and enjoy myself. And some days, when He tells me to do one more set of lunges, I want to scream at Him. Of course, underneath the complaining, I'm secretly delighted. Because I know that I'm getting stronger. And I know that He'll never push me farther than I can go. I know that it's all for my own good, and that I'll be a much better person for having pushed through the pain.

The problem with this analogy is that it makes it sound like I'm doing all the work. And while God has definitely been making me work very hard, He's the one doing the healing. He's the one who is bringing up memories from my past, showing me the lies I've believed for so long, and replacing them with His truth. It's definitely more of a mutual relationship than a personal trainer. But some days I really feel like He's telling me to do my hundredth set of lunges!

The other thing God is doing right now is completely surprising me. I had no idea that some of these issues were a big deal for me. It's amazing how I bury and supress things, telling myself they're not really all that important. Yet, when God brings it to mind and I really open my heart to Him, I realize just how important something really is to me. Or how deeply a wound truly runs.

I was driving home tonight, and for reasons that I cannot explain right now, I just wanted to share this song that was on the radio. It is the prayer of my deepest soul tonight.

I want to sing a song for You, Lord
Lord, for You I want to sing a song
And I want to lift my voice to Heaven
And listen to the angels sing along

A song of Your faithfulness
A song of Your grace
And of Your loving kindness
To the glory of Your name
With everything that's in me, Lord
Listen to me say
I want to sing a song for You
I want to sing a song

- From Sing a Song by Third Day