Revisting Singleness

I know I've brought up the singleness issue before, but something my roommate said the other day got my ire up once again. She was talking to her mom about a friend of hers who has a new boyfriend, and her mother said "Don't worry, dear. Your day will come!" Why is it that people insist on talking like your life is on hold or not really happening or something until you are in a relationship? It's like that old saying, everything will be great "when my ship comes in." Which of course implies that things are not okay now and gives the future a certain mystical, fairytale quality.

Humans were designed to be in relationship with each other. We are not supposed to be alone. And yet, relationship can be with friends and church and community. Obviously marriage is the ultimate expression of the need for relationship, but where in the Bible does it say that everyone needs to be married? There are plenty of references to living in community, and Paul reluctantly says that people should get married to "avoid sinning," but nowhere does it say, "God meant for all people to find the joy of marriage."

I think that marriage should be considered tantamount to winning the lottery. Something amazing and wonderful, but not something that has to happen to you in order for your life to be complete. It's more like an extra-special blessing from God. So why is it that the two phrases you hear most often as a single person are: "So, have you met anyone special/new/insert other euphemism?" and "Oh, I really want you to meet this guy/girl. I think you'll really get along!"

One of my coworkers said that it's because other people want you to be happy like them. She's probably right. Yet, we live in a world where we are being barraged with romantic/sexual propaganda at every turn. Do we really need our friends to remind us that we don't fit in? We don't need to be reminded of it. We already are, every single day. Instead of being discouraged by having the obvious pointed out again, it would be amazing to be encouraged to take joy in our singleness and to learn how to use our vast energy to better our world instead of letting it languish without outlet. Instead of sympathizing by telling us "your day will come," try listing some of the amazing things we can do because we're not in a relationship! It would be significantly more comforting and encouraging.