To Have and To Hold

I was talking with Dustin on Sunday (over a lovely breakfast which he prepared for me!) and the ever-popular topic of relationship drama came up. You know what I mean, who's interested in whom, and who's been made jealous by it, etc. And this set me to wondering:

Is it possible for a group of single, young people to be completely free of relationship drama? Or is it just too much a part of our natural biology and humanness?

Can we learn to communicate with each other in such a way that relationships are formed naturally, without all of the gossip?

All of these thoughts led me on to a question more deeply personal:

Is it possible to be truly happy and content as a single person? In the face of the thousands of voices telling us every day that there is something wrong with us if we aren't in a relationship? I feel that I am completely happy and fulfilled in my singleness, but some days can be so challenging when people confront me with the fact of it. It might be a co-worker teasing "So do you have a hot date this weekend? When are you going to get a boyfriend?" It might be a song on the radio singing about love and lust. It might be a movie or a book or just a story from a friend about how it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I firmly believe that a single, celibate person can be truly joyful--can find satisfaction and peace in their state of singleness. Even more than that, singleness is a source of great power. Without our focus fragmented by spouse and children and family, we can build deeper relationships with those around us. How many people have had a great friend, only to "lose" them once they entered a relationship? Being single means that you can stretch yourself farther and cover more ground.

Being single is not a disability, or even a sacrifice really. If anything, I suppose it could be construed as selfish, but I think it's exactly the opposite. A single person has more of themselves to give. More time, more energy, more love.

By the way, I don't think there's anything wrong with being in a relationship, getting married, and having kids. I just think there are plenty of voices saying that's the only way. And all other ways mean you must have some commitment issues or fears to deal with.

And what about ministries for single people? "Singles groups" can feel like meat markets. Like everyone is there just to find someone to marry. And why doesn't the church take advantage of our energy and extra free time? Instead we are forgotten about. Most single people do not want to do Bible studies with couples with kids. So we are relegated to college groups and ignored as a resource for the church's needs.

Be proud of your singleness, friends. Talk to God about it and ask Him why He hasn't brought "that special someone" into your life. Is it because His calling on your life is great? Is it because He can use you in some unique and valuable way in your singleness? Or is it simply so you will learn to trust Him in everything, including the timing for every important phase of your life? Whatever the reason, don't let the world get you down. We are not of the world and we do not play by the world's rules.